Alright, tonight has been one of the number one most difficult nights of my life, as far as coding goes. I'm trying to install a forum, and it is truly aggravating. Before anyone comments, yes, I am aware that my choice of forum software is very out of date; I prefer it over the newer version and won't pay for a product I view to be lesser in value than the one that I obtained for free prior to its release.
I am attempting to install IPB 1.3 on my website. I have done this multiple times; never an issue. The difference this time? Different website... and the server is not in some building overseas, it is in my living room. The server tower, which runs on Linux, is used exclusively for hosting websites for my significant other and I. And the problem? The installer. I have followed all the directions... uploaded the files, CHMOD/permissions settings, the whole deal. And yet, I am getting stuck on the first screen, (URL: http://mysite.com/forum/sm_install.php) which reads:

Before we go any further, please ensure that all the files have been uploaded, and that the file 'conf_global.php' has suitable permissions to allow this script to write to it ( 0666 should be sufficient ).
You will also need the following information that your webhost can provide:
* Your MySQL database name
* Your MySQL username
* Your MySQL password
* Your MySQL host address (usually localhost)
Once you have clicked on proceed, you will be taken to a form to enter information the installer needs to set up your board.
PLEASE NOTE: USING THIS INSTALLER WILL DELETE ANY CURRENT INVISION POWER BOARD DATABASE IF YOU ARE USING THE SAME TABLE PREFIX

Beneath that, a button labeled "proceed" which, when I click on it, takes me nowhere. The URL is now: http://mysite.com/forum/sm_install.php?a=1
I know that the "?a=1" is meant to take me to the next screen... but it isn't. The server runs on Apache 2.0.55 (Gentoo), DAV 2, PHP 5.2.2. Not sure about the MySQL, my SO and I couldn't find the version. The versions for the other things were copied from an Index page on one of my unfinished sites. Does anyone know what the problem might be?
For reference, commonly asked questions amongst people I know who have more knowledge of PHP than I:
Q: Is your database information correct?
A: I haven't entered any yet, it won't bring me to the page.
Q: What version of PHP/Apache/MySQL are you using?
A: See above information.
Q: Have you tried running it in multiple browsers?
A: I have tried in Firefox as well as in IE. Same result.
Q: Have you tried a manual installation rather than auto?
A: I can't find instructions for one, though I've been searching.
Q: Have you tried any of the fixes on various IPB sites?
A: Every single one I could find, no change in results.
Q: Have you tried restarting your browser?
A: Yes, I've restarted both browsers multiple times.
Q: Have you tried restarting your computer?
A: Yes, I have restarted my computer as well.
Q: Is your server experiencing any technical difficulties?
A: None whatsoever, besides this.
Hopefully I can get a fix for this. Thank you in advance to anyone who can help, or who will offer their help or try to solve this!